Maybe because we have a student right now, or maybe because I am going to teach about it next week at the Provincial School for Congregational Development, I have been thinking about how we give and receive feedback in our North American culture lately. 

One thing that I have noticed is that we don't like to either give it or receive it, and when we give it, we aren't very good at it.

So because it's been on my mind, I thought I might share with you some of the things that we teach about giving and receiving feedback at the School.

'Feedback is communication to a person or to a group that gives information about how that person or group affects others and or the performance of that person/group or organization.'

Feedback is descriptive rather than evaluative and is based on behaviour.

It's specific rather than general.

It takes into account the needs of both the giver and the receiver of the feedback.

It's put into context.

Timing matters. Feedback is most helpful at the earliest opportunity but it depends on the person's readiness to hear it and whether or not they have support available to them if needed.

Feedback is checked to ensure that it is being clearly communicated.

It describes impact and a desired outcome, and it is owned by the giver. The person giving feedback uses words like 'I' or 'my'. That person is only speaking for themself.

And it includes speaking from the heart and uses emotions.

When we are thinking about giving someone feedback, the model that we teach can be a helpful one to run what we want to say through. 

 Here is a four-part model that we teach and I use when thinking about the feedback that I want to give:

When you (describe the behaviour that you want to talk about)

I felt (think about the emotions that you felt when the person did the behaviour you described)

The impact on me is (what was the consequence of that person's behaviour for you?)

I prefer/want (what would you like to be different now that this person has this information about how their behaviour impacted you?)

It's not perfect, and it can feel pretty robotic at first, but in my experience this format is a really helpful tool for us when we want to talk to someone about something that they have done intentionally or not that had an impact on you. 

One more thing to note is that when we think about feedback, we generally think it will be negative, but we can also give positive feedback to someone to let them know that something they have done or been a part of was really great.

Being in community with each other means that we are going to bump into one another, our behaviour, our words, our choices impact others in our community. My hope in sharing this tool is that it might be helpful to us as we continue to learn and grow together.

With gratitude for our ministry together.

Marnie

Readings for next Sunday include:

Deuteronomy 34:1-12;Psalm 109:21-31; REVELATION 21:10, 22-22:5; JOHN 14:23-29 

You can see the full readings here

A note from Chris about what to expect:

As we get closer to summer and people begin heading out on adventures and we are looking for some more people to help out with the sandwich ministry.

If you think you might be interested, please speak to Sharmila Lakhani